Hello, Is It Me You Are Looking For?

  Yep, it's been a little while.  I can't say that I am sorry for being away from my computer for so long, there have unfortunately been a ton of things that have taken priority lately, but I am glad to be back.

   The New Year came and went for me almost un-noticed  in the midst of a couple crazy nights on the unit, short staffed and crazier then usual and it has been full steam ahead ever since then. It seems like there hasn't been a night I've had off that my phone hasn't rang with Staffing begging for some help. Some nights I've had the energy and the mental fortitude to do it, other nights I have literally ignored the phone all together and deleted the message without listening to it. 

  With the new year has come new challenges and goals, I am, according to my charge nurse,  no longer a newbie nurse and I have been pushed to step up to the plate and accept more challenging assignments and more responsibility on the unit. My director has also echoed the sentiment by pushing me to write for my Critical Care Certification. I am now staring at a dauntingly large pile of books that sit here next to my computer. Contained in these pages are all the knowledge that is somehow supposed to reside in the head of a CCRN and I am expected to somehow cram it all in there and NOT lose an ounce of it. 

  It is funny because I don't feel any wiser, stronger or smarter yet and I keep waiting for that magical moment when everything will click and I will know  that I have it "all down pat", then at the weirdest times I have a sudden moment where it feels like I am standing outside of my body watching myself. It's at these times that I watch my hands move smoothly through the task at hand and it hits me, I see just how far I have come in this past year. I have learned by watching the people around me that in nursing you can never know everything, a good nurse never has "everything down pat". The real skill is to learn how to learn and adapt.

  So there is a ton of "firsts" still to come and I look forward to everything that has yet to happen and is still to come. So onward and upward as they say.